20,000 Words and My Writing ADHD

Dear Wal,

I've made it to 20,000 words, and with considerably less trepidation than I thought. Somehow, knowing that I can actually make it to 50,000 words has made this year much less of a struggle than NaNo was last year. It's like cross country, I know that I can run faster than this, but I don't figure that out until the next season. Just wait, I'll jinx myself and I won't make it to 30,000, but at this point I see no reason why I won't make it all the way to 50,000. I may not get much sleep in the process, but I will CONQUER this. And schoolwork. And work. And Buzzy. And running. Somehow, all these things will come together at the end of the month and make something wonderful. Or terrible, depending on the circumstances.
The only reason I've made it this far is because of something I've come to call writing ADHD. When I get stuck on one story or tired of that story, I move on to a different one. The only way this is possible for me to do and still have a cohesive, novel-like entity is through my fanfiction. It consists of many smaller interlocking stories, not unlike a comic book series (which was the point, alala). Anyway, when I get tired of writing about future Jason going back in time with a prophecy of Armageddon  I start writing about Tommy going on a quest for truth on the streets of Gotham, and when I get tired of that I start writing the hopelessly romantic (and tragic) love story of Jason and Selina.
I've been rewriting all of these stories, because I began then and never finished them in a fleet of notebooks (all of which happily live on my bookshelf), a few binders of random scraps, scattered word documents and a massive Celtx document of my failed attempt at turning this fanfiction into an actual comic book script (I'm the worst script writer on the planet). Going through all this various unconnected material, I realized how much of an idiot my younger self was. I didn't write any of the stories with Tom (he's the bad guy that escaped into his own original story) and I completely messed up the first installment of my Catwoman stories.  I rewrote that particular story in various notebooks multiple times, trying to work out the kinks, but all the while the solution was right under my nose. I can't believe I didn't see it before. I guess it helps to take a step back and then go back and re-read what I've written.
The problem is, I'm quickly running out of material that I've planned. I'm having to venture deeper and deeper into the foggy territory of: "Well, this is the point of the story, and this is what generally happens. You see, this guy goes evil...because, well, I don't know. He just does. I'll come up with that later." Then, when I get to that point: "Oh, he could do this! But this would be so much more awesome! I think this would work better thought." I finally pick something, and everything crumbles into plot-hole induced chaos: "THAT WON'T WORK! I need to go back to my original idea. Wait...what was my original idea? Aaaag!"
It's this whole lovely process that I'm afraid of falling into again. I need to learn to plan things better, but that sort of thing takes months for me to do. It would be even longer for this fanfiction, because all the stories are out of order in my head. I can't decide where to put Tommy (Tommy Elliot, if anyone's read Hush-in my parallel universe he becomes the vigilante known as Falcon-my original creation-and helps Batman protect Gotham, because Robin is annoying). I'm having to fill in the huge void left by Tom, and two other characters who were detectives on Jim Gordon's squad when he was still a captain and not the commissioner.
In the midst of all this, I found something that surprised me. Instead of individual stories told separately in Jason's life along a timeline, which is what I originally intended, there's a link between them all-other than Jason himself-that I could use to make into one mega novel thing. A really long one, most likely longer that 50,000 words and possibly multiple books.
I've never had the material for that kind of length before.
And you know what sucks?
I will never be able to do anything with it, because all the characters I'm using are copyrighted.
I'll probably post this novel in smaller chapters on fanfiction.net or deviantArt or something, but it's still slightly disappointing. However, writing about all my favorite superheroes is just too much fun for that to bother me too much. NaNo will at least make a dent in this fanfiction. Maybe I'll even finish it, but I doubt that. I think this is just going to be a life-long endeavor. Or at least, it will be an endeavor as long as I'm still obsessed with superheroes.

/endrant