My Stupid Cat

Dear Wal,

Periodically, my cat loses the ability to jump. She regularly loses the ability to walk.Now, you must realize that my cat is the most wonderful, sweet cat you could ever meet. However, she isn't the brightest cat in the world. .She is prodigious at killing and mutilating small creatures (mice, birds, chipmunks, spiders: anything that is smaller than her and moves) but simple tasks such as recognizing that, yes, I have filled up her food bowl are totally beyond her.  The root of the problem is that she's never had to really work for anything. She has been the baby of the family since we first brought her through the door, which isn't much of a problem, because she is a cat, but her problem solving skills have suffered because of it. We've done everything for her, so she's never had to do anything herself. Case in point.
Jumping.
Her bowl is on my desk (because the dog will eat the cat's food if she can reach it), which means that she has to actually jump up to the surface of the desk. Now, this isn't a problem for her. I've seen her jump over five feet before. However, I've gotten frustrated with her too many times and simply picked her up and put her on the desk (she went kicking and flailing).
This morning I went out to the barn to feed the horses. She trotted out to meet me, and then promptly dropped down in the dirt and rolled. I'm not going to pick her up and take her inside when she's all covered in dirt. So, I walked back to the house with her squeaking and occasionally trotting in front of me and plopping down in the dirt again. I let her in, and then dutifully went to fill up her bowl. She just didn't get it. The entire exchange went something like this:
Cat: Eeeeeeh? :D
Me: I fed you. Look, food.
Cat: Eeeeeeeeeh? :D
Me: It's up there.
Cat: Eeeeeeeeeeh? :)
Me: Stupid cat. Look. *points at desk*
Cat: *looks at desk* Eh? D:
Me: LOOK. YOU HAVE TO JUMP. *points at desk again*
Cat: *looks at desk again* Eeeeh? D8
Me: Just jump.
Cat: Eh? D8
Me: You're an idiot.
Cat: Eeeeh? D8
Me: Fine. Stay there. *leaves*
And the sound of the cat finally jumping on my desk echoes through the house.

/endrant